A Default Setting of Love
This brief message is too important not to share. Enjoy!
From Mike’s Blog:
A couple weeks ago I visited with a woman from our church whose memory is fading. We sat in her living room, and she mostly listened to the conversation around her.
But four times — four! — in half an hour, she looked at me and told me how much she loved me. It was clear that she’d forgotten that she had just told me that a few minutes before. But, strangely enough, it didn’t matter. Each time it meant something special.
Here’s my question: How do you become a person who, even with a
fog descending on the brain, speaks words of love and affirmation? How do you get to the point where those are the words that come out by default.
I know this: Before all this happened, that’s the kind of person she was. I never knew her to scold, frown, or discourage. For the seventeen years I’ve known her she has been a source of refreshment to all around her.
I think I have some work to do.
photo credit: maria mono
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May 10th, 2008 at 6:13 PM
WOW, I wish I were like that!
May 10th, 2008 at 11:13 PM
Hi Clif,
That was a beautiful story and especially touching on the eve of Mother’s Day for me. My mom is progressing through the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s and it is so hard to watch her memory slip away. She often doesn’t recognize me, doesn’t remember her husband of 60 years who passed away from Alzheimer’s several years ago, can no longer read or write, etc. But recently I had several very memorable moments with her. We were sitting on the patio of her group home looking at the clovers near by and I wondered out loud if any of them were 4 leaf clovers. She immediately burst into song and started singing “I’m looking over a 4 leaf clover…” in the purest melody, remembering every word! So we started singing other songs she remembered. Since it was near Valentine’s Day I tried to think of every love song I thought she might remember. She knew all of the words to “Love Me Tender” and “Let Me Call You Sweetheart.” We even sang a couple of patriotic songs like “God Bless America” and “It’s a Grand Old Flag.” She and I enjoyed those very special moments. The message to me was how VERY important it is to have music in your life, and for children to grow up learning and singing all kinds of songs. They will be stored in long-term memory forever.
Peggy
May 11th, 2008 at 11:51 AM
thanks for sharing that. I love it- a default setting of love. I need to work on that as well.
May 13th, 2008 at 10:59 AM
What a touching story. Thank you for sharing it. I can relate in that my significant other’s grandfather has Alzheimer’s and will tell you that he loves you every 5 minutes. He’s a precious example of what it means to simply love someone. Along the lines with Peggy, songs are very important. He can still belt out some of the hold hymns.
. Thanks again for this story.