Clif’s Notes

Don’t Take My Playdough

The following story comes from my friend’s blog. It was told to him by his sister-in-law.

The funniest story happened yesterday at church. Our minister [Mike] was preaching…All of a sudden the side door of the auditorium burst open. A little three year old is running and yelling, “No, no, they are after me.”

Mike [the preacher] stops and asks, “Ryan, who is after you?”

“They are after my playdough.”

Mike laughs and yells - “Run, Ryan, Run, here they come. Don’t let them get your playdough. Run to that door over there, that side.”

The little boy takes off squealing, gripping tight to his playdough. The whole congregation breaks out in laughter and applause as Ryan breaks through the side door with his playdough and the embarrassed teacher enters looking for his lost pupil. It was priceless. Ryan was screeching as he broke through the door to freedom.

I wish I had been there!

Great Kids Movie

Just watched Doogal on DVD with the kids. We all really liked it. It has an interesting story, silly and likable characters and is voiced by Chevy Chase, Whoopi Goldberg, Jimmy Fallon, Kevin Smith and William H. Macy. It has a good soundtrack an is full of clever one liners that will crack up older viewers. A quick browse of online reviews indicated that the film was panned by critics here in the U.S., but if you’re looking for something that you’re entire family can enjoy I highly recommend Doogal. In fact, why not rent it today, order some pizza, pop some popcorn, and make tonight a family movie night.

Intelligent Humor

I enjoy listening to smart folks and being challenged by their ideas, observations, wisdom, etc. I also enjoy being around funny people because I enjoy laughing. I REALLY like hearing folks that are smart and funny at the same time. It’s a combination that I’ve rarely encountered, but I think that intelligent humor is a lot of fun. It’s a wierd experience to find yourself laughing out loud at something someone has said while simultaneously thinking, “Gee, that is really smart/ deep/ makes a lot of sense.”

Mitch Hedberg is one of my favorite comedians. His one liners got the audience to look at everyday things from a funny, yet perfectly intelligent, viewpoint. Here are some of his famous one liners.

• I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man. I don’t know how I get away with it.
• I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake.
• When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-size bed, wondering where my brother was.
• I bought myself a parrot; the parrot talked, but it did not say “I’m hungry,” so it died.
• If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.
• I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.
• A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
• I’m gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
• When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.
• An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
• If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.
• Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read!
• I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
• I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. You don’t have to fry them again after all.
• My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
• I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
• I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
• I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that… day.
• This shirt is “dry-clean only,” which means it’s dirty.

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